I do all the things for them. Sometimes I do them for me, so I can be whole for them. But, when it really comes down to it, I do them for them.
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Like tonight, for instance. Tonight I went to a “Toastmasters” (public speaking) group meeting. I signed up for it weeks ago. But when tonight actually got here, I nearly talked myself out of going at least 10 times. What if everyone knew each other already? What if I couldn’t learn something? What if it made me uncomfortable? What if. What if. What if.
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But I went. I went for them. I mean, I went for me. But I really went for them. Let me explain.
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I’ve always loved public speaking. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamed of being a professional speaker. Inspiring people. Being a keynote. Changing lives. It’s part of why I got into sales.
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But, somewhere along the way, I lost that dream. I stopped perusing it. Sure, I speak for a living now in sales. I get to inspire people. But, on stages? To masses? I haven’t practiced that in years. If I’m honest, it makes me nervous as hell.
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So, tonight, I took one small step towards that dream. Of being a regular public speaker. You know why? FOR THEM.
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A few months ago, I heard something on a podcast that really stuck with me. I could write a whole post on this one thing. But, to sum it up, the speaker said that we can’t spend our children’s whole childhood telling them that they can be anything. Encouraging them, coaching them, telling them to follow their dreams… if we don’t also follow our own. He said eventually, one day, they would notice. One day they’d ask “What about you mom?” The words made me cry as I heard them “What about you?”
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So, tonight, I followed a dream. I set the example. I did the thing. Because if I do one thing on this planet. If I set one example, if I leave one legacy, I will be a mother who never stoped chasing her dreams. Even if I’m 35. Even if I’m a mother of 2. Even if it’s scary. Because it’s what I want them to do too. And, they are watching. ✨
Tag: raising tiny humans
For the first time mamas.
This is one of my favorite pictures, but I never shared it…. mainly because I’m wearing Costco Christmas pajamas in the middle of summer and my glasses are out of style. 🤣
But, I was with a group of girlfriends recently, and when I asked a new mom how life with a newborn was, she said it was good, but that “no one talks about that it’s hard.” And, she‘s right.
We all post our pretty pictures. Our smiling babies. Our letter boards. But not enough of us talk about the rest. So, here I am sharing a photo from the newborn stage, and saying IT IS HARD! This picture is one of my favorites, but it’s also of a time when I was exhausted.
And, while I love a beautiful Instagram feed as much as the next gal, here’s some real life stuff to go along with my real life picture: Nursing was really hard for me with Jack. And, pumping was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Sleepless nights made me crabby, and my hormones were out of whack. I think I had postpartum depression after my first baby, but didn’t know it at the time. And, while it almost seems like taboo to admit it, teeny tiny babies were hard on our marriage. Why does no one talk about that? It was a time when I was covered in spit up, and blowout diapers, and spilled milk that I would – for real – cry over. A time when I’d be awake at 3am searching google when the rest of the world seemingly was asleep. And, it was a time when I sometimes felt isolated… even though I now know there was a tribe of other moms out there, going through the same things.
I share this today to say to other mamas out there, you are not alone. ❤️ There is so much joy in motherhood. So much love. So much good. We all share that on Instagram all the time. But also know, in the middle of the night, when you’re holding that baby, exhausted, you are not alone. There are other mamas out there doing that exact same thing, even if their Instagram feed only shows that smiling picture in the morning. ❤️👊🏻 And, for the record, you’re doing AWESOME, mama. People don’t say that enough.
Working Moms: We can have it all…just not at the same time.
Working moms: We can have it all. Just not at the same time. (Pictured here: me doing my hair before a big meeting, but also being a mom).
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I once heard Julie Rice (co-founder of Soul Cycle) answer the question of “How do you do it all?” with something along the lines of “I don’t.” To paraphrase, she said that some weeks she was a badass at work. Some weeks she took her foot off the pedal at work and spent more time with her kids because they needed her.
I also recently heard that of the following 5 things, we can only do 3 exceptionally at a time: Family, work, friendships, working out, and getting enough sleep. And that’s ok. For most of us, I think we try to keep family in the top 3 all the time. But, realistically, our top 3 will shift from day to day and week to week.
Some weeks we’ll be ballers at work and working out, but won’t see our friends at all. Other weeks we may date our spouse and see our friends, but not be as strong at work. It’s ok for it to ebb and flow. It’s ok to be balanced and lopsided all at the same time.
Life is all about expectations. And I think the media (and social media) give us the expectation that we should be able do all of these things exceptionally all the time. And, that’s BS. No one has it all together all the time. We can thrive at all of them. Just not at the same time. And once you accept that truth, you can get rid of the expectations to have it all, and instead enjoy ALL that you have.
Lauren V Wesley 