Category: Motherhood

Motherhood

Making the most of a quarantine birthday.

Featuredby laurenwesley62802 Comments on Making the most of a quarantine birthday.
Two little candle’s in G’s cake.

Our little one turned two a few weeks ago… I love throwing kids parties. Planning, decorating, all of it brings me so much joy. Thankfully, at 2, there weren’t many expectations from my daughter on what her birthday party would look like, so she was perfectly happy to be celebrating at home with just our little family. But, if your kids (or grown ups) are older and you have a birthday coming up, here are a few ideas on how to make a birthday special during Coronavirus / Covid-19 / Quarantine. #stayhome

Shop Local – and decorate like crazy!

The way I see it, we were going to spend some money on a birthday party either way. So, while I know times are uncertain, I still bought a whole bunch of decorations to make G’s birthday special. Plus, it’s a great way to support little local stores in your community that are fulfilling online orders during this time. For this party, I ordered everything from Hi Sweetheart in La Jolla, CA because I know the owner and lover her and her little shop so much. It’s a dream. And, she has allll the things you need. I also love The Little Things in Dallas. It’s the cutest little kids store, and they always have a good selection of Meri Meri party decor in stock. Both of these stores are shipping right now!

Lots of cute party supplies from Hi Sweetheart in La Jolla, CA.

Make the Cake!

This is a great way to add some excitement leading up to the birthday too. Let your kids help make it! It’s a great at home activity to pass the time, and hopefully means one less “non-essential” trip to pick up a cake. Box cake mixes are pretty good! I use those usually, but prefer to make my own icing. Comment or message me if you want my favorite recipe. Planning to share it on the blog soon.

One tip: If you make a simple syrup (one part water one part sugar boiled on the stove) and brush it on your cake before you ice it, it will be SO moist. This is a game changer.

The cake doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s the process of making it and singing and doing the candles that counts. Enjoy the process!

Take the photos!

Look, just because you’re at home with just your little families doesn’t mean this birthday isn’t worthy of great photos! I used my decorations to set up a little photo area to ensure I got a good picture of G on her 2nd birthday, decorations and all. And, we also did a self-timer family pic so we could have a memory of the day with all of us in it. If you want some easy tips for editing photos on your phone click that link. I also shared some tips on getting a decent self-timer family photo on my blog last week.

In the end, it’s not about perfect pictures. It’s about time together and celebrating, and taking it all in. But, if you can get good pics, it’s a great way to look back on a special memory.

Some of my favorite photos from G’s bday. (Even if D isn’t making his most photogenic face. Hah).

For older kids – Drive by parade with friends

I’ve seen this becoming a trend for older kids: If you can’t have a birthday party, have a birthday parade! You can ask all of your kid’s friends to decorate their cars and drive by to honk and scream and wave. We participated in one of these a few weeks back and it was so cute and fun. The birthday girl enjoyed it! And, parents were all excited for an excuse to leave the house, albeit if only to be in the car.

Another idea to connect with friends – Make a video

We did this one for my Dad’s birthday last month. I asked a bunch of family members to send me a video of them saying happy birthday, and then I compiled them all into one video and sent it to my dad as a surprise. Of course, you have to give people a heads up/ enough time to film it. But, with technology these days, it’s super simple.

It’s not about a perfect video. It’s about showing love for the person celebrating a birthday that day. Imperfect and real is better.

To edit the video you can automatically do it on an iphone, or in imovie if you have that on a laptop… I like VideoLeap (video editing app). But, really, you can learn to do anything (including editing a video) on google.

Hire a singer in the neighborhood to do a special performance from the street

This one might be a long shot – but it’s happening in our neighborhood. We have a college student studying musical theatre. She’s home from school and quarentined and offering to come by houses dressed as a princess singing Disney songs. She stays more than 6 feet away and has no contact, but it’s a super cute idea for a special surprise.

Perhaps check NextDoor (app) or your neighborhood facebook page to see if anyone in your area could do this for your little one. You might be surprised.

Ok, that’s all I’ve got. The biggest thing there is to know is that birthdays are what we make them. You don’t need all the crazy decorations, or the fancy cake, or to go somewhere expensive. You just need to celebrate the birthday boy/girl that you love. Make him/her feel special. And, be present. But, like I said above, taking (and editing) some photos doesn’t hurt either.

Happy celebrating, friends.

Best life, Motherhood

Taking a decent self-timer family photo.

Featuredby laurenwesley6280Leave a Comment on Taking a decent self-timer family photo.

If you follow me on instagram, you saw that we spent our morning this morning getting our 2020 family Easter photo!

Happy Easter, 2020. Self-timer photo from our iphone, at home. 3/11/2020.

That being said, with everything going on in the world right now, getting a family Easter photo really doesn’t matter. I get that. But, I love this time of year. I love cute spring clothes. I love getting a family Easter photo every year with our family… and I didn’t want to miss this year, even given the state of the world. So, yes… family photos and Easter outfits don’t really matter. But, what does matter is making memories with people that we love… and doing things that bring us joy. And, this brings me joy So, while we cannot control what is out of our control, we can control adding things that bring us joy to our days and to our families.

So… if you want to try a self timer photo for yourself, I’ve outlined a few easy steps to get the best image. (And, by “best image,” I mean something decent. Maybe not perfect. Expectations are everything. And, I recommend having low ones for this little project. Then you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the outcome, hopefully)!

6 Steps to a good decent family photo at home:

Pick a spot:

First things first, decide where you want to take your photo. We were supposed to have rainy weather this morning, so I fully expected to have to choose an indoor spot. But, the rain came later than expected, and we got some good sunlight in the morning. So, we pivoted to take our pic by the front door. That being said, wherever you choose, you want LOTS of natural light, and a clear, crisp, uncluttered background, if possible.

Test your lighting:

Once you’ve picked a spot, or two, test the lighting. Take a few pictures either of the spot alone. Or, even better, a test shot or two with you in it to see how the lighting looks. You can always lighten up a photo (as I talked about in my mobile photo editing post), but you still want lots of natural light for a good image. Here are a few basic test shots I took, below:

I ended up going with the front door, after also testing inside by the fireplace. I liked the bright whites inside, but we got more natural light out front.

Set up you phone

The next step is to set up your phone! Everyone thinks you need some sort of fancy tripod and all of this technology to get a professional looking self timer photo. But, honestly, since we’re all at home anyway, all you need is something tall enough to set your phone up on to be high enough to take an eye level photo. Here’s the set up I came up with today:

A box on a kids’ chair on a bar stool, and we were ready to go! You don’t need anything fancy. You just need to use your brain.

While we’re on the subject of setting up your phone, there is a built in self timer option on the iphone now. To get there, open up your camera on the phone, then flip the screen around so you’re looking at yourself like you’re about to take a selfie. There’s a little arrow pointing up at the top of the screen when you’re in selfie mode. Tap that. Then, you will see a few other options come up below your face. The second from the left should look like a clock. Tap on that. From there, you have 3 options: “Timer off,” “3 s” and “10s.” That’s for 3 seconds and 10 seconds respectively. I recommend clicking on 10s, to give yourself a 10 second countdown. Once you’ve hit that, you push the big white button at the bottom, like you would if you were normally taking a pic… but the 10 second countdown will begin. And, good news, it’s big and bold in the middle of the screen. You can’t miss it! We like to count down out loud, so everyone knows when to smile.

Take a million shots

Here’s the fun part! Try as many as you can until everyone gets worn out. For us, today, we only got 9. about 9. But, 9 is better than 1 to choose from.

I go through and heart my favorites afterwards, to know which ones we want to edit.

I don’t even look at the pics as we’re taking them. Just push the button, pose, smile. And do it again and again.

That being said, my family is VERY used to doing self time photos… but if this is your first time getting everyone together for one of these, maybe look at the first few to see how everyone looks and reposition if you need to. The beauty is, you can do them again and again.

Get close and have fun

One thing I’ve learned form lots of family photos is that if everyone is really close to each other, touching lots, and having fun, the pics turn out better. So don’t be afraid to lean in, laugh, hug, try a new pose, and go again. Have fun with it. But, I promise you, you’ll like the photos better where you’re all squishing in, touching each other, and looking like you love each other.

And, finally, once you have a couple of good shots: Edit them!

I have a whole blog post on mobile photo editing. Seriously, nothing fancy here – just a few clicks to lighten up a photo, or blur a photo background.

Editing makes a world of difference, though. See my before and after below:

The pic on the right is lightened a touch, the background is blurred, and it’s cropped to a square.

And, that’s it, my friends. Here are our final products for our Easter Family photo, 2020.

Easter 2020. Yes, I know the door is open in these photos. I left it open intentionally to remind us in years to come of all the time we were spending inside right now.
Baking, Motherhood

Drake’s Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

by laurenwesley62801 Comment on Drake’s Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

If you are anything like me right now, you’re baking lots. Like, lots and lots. It brings me joy. It passes time. It keeps us indoors. And, we can do it with our kids!

We were lucky enough to be gifted a big beautiful box of challenge butter back before quarantining, and I am SO glad we have all of this butter on hand to bake with. Their butter is “churned daily from two natural ingredients: the freshest 100% real pasteurized sweet cream and salt. That’s it. Nothing artificial or synthetic.” Took that from their website. But, this is 100% our go to now. Clean ingredients are everything.

Ok, so without any fuss, here is my dad’s oatmeal chocolate chip cookie recipe. They are my FAVORITE cookies. And, it’s my favorite dough. 🙂 You guys, we even had my dad make these and served them at our wedding. They are everything. So, check your pantry (hopefully you have all the ingredients on hand), and get baking. The recipe is below:

Drake (my dad)’s Famous Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients

  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
  • 1 cup butter (recommended challenge butter) softened
  • 3 regular eggs (or 2 large eggs)
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla
  • 2 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 1/2 cups oats (quick cooking oatmeal is fine)
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 cups chocolate chips

Heat oven to 350 degrees.

Then, in a large bowl (I use my mixer with the wire whip attachment), mix sugar, brown sugar, butter, eggs, and vanilla . Beat at medium speed, stopping to scrape the bowl regularly, until fluffy. It usually takes about 2 minutes.

Then, add the flour, oats, baking soda, and salt. Mix it in using the mixer on medium speed about 3 minutes. Scrape the bowl as necessary here, too. And, finally, stir in the chocolate chips. (Best time to taste the dough is now. Pro tip from my mom: ALWAYS unplug the mixer before putting anything in the bowl).

Then, drop the dough on cookie sheet in 1/4 cup sized spoonfuls, making sure they’re at least 2 inches apart, because the cookies will spread. Then, cook at 350 degrees for 14 to 17 minutes, until golden brown.

Enjoy!!

Oh, and P.S. Eat the cookies! Love your body. Your body is awesome.

Best life, Goals, Motherhood

You can do it.

by laurenwesley6280Leave a Comment on You can do it.
Dustin with his medal at the finish line of the Austin marathon. 2/16/20

He did it, you guys! Dustin finished a 26.2 mile marathon on Sunday. 26.2 freaking miles in under four hours.

But, if you would have asked me two years ago – when we had 2 kids under 3– if we would ever be able to fit something like this into our lives, I would have probably said no.

But, I’ve been about all about chasing dreams, and pursuing personal goals lately. Because, our kids are watching. And, I believe that the better we take care of ourselves, the better we can take care of our kids. So, Dustin and I have prioritized “us” a lot more lately. Because happy parents make for happy kids. And, having big goals, in many ways, makes both of us happy. So, this year, we each stretched for something big.

I think this first part is worth talking about, because NO ONE does: Having teeny tiny kids was really hard for us at first. Or, really hard for me, at least. And, consequently, it was sometimes hard on hard on our marriage. The identity shift from married couple to parents was… hard. And, finding our groove, helping each other, being a team, finding time for our relationship, and finding time for ourselves all took some time and serious effort, if we’re being real.

And, look, we haven’t perfected it. But, I think we’ve figured a few things out in the last several years. And, I am hoping that writing about it might help someone out there too. And, if you are in the weeds  – with a tiny baby – and looking at this post thinking “I could never work something like a marathon into my life right now” you are not alone. Because that’s exactly how I felt a few years ago. I didn’t know how we would ever find time for ourselves again as parents, honestly. You have to give yourself some grace in that season. But, eventually, you will also find your way out.

Jack’s 3rd birthday in the summer of 2019.

Now our kids are almost 2 and 4, and we’re out of the double diaper weeds.  We’ve gotten to focus on our relationship and ourselves more lately. We’ve chosen to focus on our relationship and ourselves more. Because happy, fulfilled parents make for happy kids. It’s like the famous line you hear on every flight “put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.” If we’re burnt out and drained, we can’t serve anyone. But, if we fill our own cups – our cups will overflow so much that we’ll have MORE to give everyone else.

But, being able to do this definitely takes some strategy. Especially, when priority number one is as much quality time with your kids as possible. There’s no point in filling your cup to the brim if it takes all your time away from your family.


So, you gotta’ be strategic.

This year D and I both had goals: Dustin to complete a marathon, and me to go to Pilates 4x/week (and start a blog)! But in order for us to work these things into our insane schedule, it took a lot of supporting each other, and timing.

Dustin trained early in the morning. Most mornings, he was awake, ran several miles, and was sipping coffee before Jack, Grace, and I even woke up.  And, for me to fit in pilates at least 4 times a week, I had to get creative with my schedule: working classes in at the end of my work day before Rosa (our nanny) headed home. And, working on my blog late at night.

On the weekends, Dustin would run in the morning while I was with the kids.  Then, we’d high five as he got home, and I’d head to my class. It took some planning to be able to do this. But it was SO worth it. Both of us getting to work on our own goals made us happier, healthier, and more fulfilled. We’d come back energized and excited for time with our family. By filling up our cups, we had more to give.

Because, let me tell you: I’ve been the burnt-out mom. Working all the hours, not getting sleep, not investing in myself. Feeling too guilty to leave my family to go do something for myself. And, you know what? I wasn’t a happy mom. I wasn’t a great mom. Being gone for that hour to take care of my body, to invest in myself, to do something for me…it fills me up. It brings me joy. It gives me ALL the energy to bring back home to the people that are my everything. It makes me better for me, and it makes me better for them.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if it’s you: If you’re the burnt out parent. If you’re running on empty. If you’re feeling guilty about working something good for yourself into your day or into your week, DO IT. Do the thing. Work it in. Find time for your partner to work it in too. Maybe it’s not exercise for you. Maybe it’s not every day. But, speaking form experience, being a happier person 100% makes me a better mom. Do the thing for you, so you have more to give to them.

It will take a little strategy. It will take planning with your partner (if you have one). But it will be worth it. You can do it, friend! Go get ‘em.

Best life, Motherhood

Chasing dreams… for them.

by laurenwesley62804 Comments on Chasing dreams… for them.

I do all the things for them. Sometimes I do them for me, so I can be whole for them. But, when it really comes down to it, I do them for them.
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Like tonight, for instance. Tonight I went to a “Toastmasters” (public speaking) group meeting. I signed up for it weeks ago. But when tonight actually got here, I nearly talked myself out of going at least 10 times. What if everyone knew each other already? What if I couldn’t learn something? What if it made me uncomfortable? What if. What if. What if.
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But I went. I went for them. I mean, I went for me. But I really went for them. Let me explain.
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I’ve always loved public speaking. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamed of being a professional speaker. Inspiring people. Being a keynote. Changing lives. It’s part of why I got into sales.
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But, somewhere along the way, I lost that dream. I stopped perusing it. Sure, I speak for a living now in sales. I get to inspire people. But, on stages? To masses? I haven’t practiced that in years. If I’m honest, it makes me nervous as hell.
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So, tonight, I took one small step towards that dream. Of being a regular public speaker. You know why? FOR THEM.
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A few months ago, I heard something on a podcast that really stuck with me. I could write a whole post on this one thing. But, to sum it up, the speaker said that we can’t spend our children’s whole childhood telling them that they can be anything. Encouraging them, coaching them, telling them to follow their dreams… if we don’t also follow our own. He said eventually, one day, they would notice. One day they’d ask “What about you mom?” The words made me cry as I heard them “What about you?”
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So, tonight, I followed a dream. I set the example. I did the thing. Because if I do one thing on this planet. If I set one example, if I leave one legacy, I will be a mother who never stoped chasing her dreams. Even if I’m 35. Even if I’m a mother of 2. Even if it’s scary. Because it’s what I want them to do too. And, they are watching. ✨

Best life, Motherhood

These are the days.

by laurenwesley62802 Comments on These are the days.

My sister and I woke up to the same song every morning for years: “These are the Days.” It was a great way to start the morning, and always a reminder to make the most of the day, because one day we’d look back on those middle and high school days and they would be amazing memories.
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Fast forward to today. I’m 35, and while I no longer wake up to that song every morning, I’m realizing, yet again, that THESE are the days.
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So, I’m writing down the little things. I’m taking the pictures. I’m soaking it in and enjoying the moments, because these ARE the days.
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This morning was the best kind of lazy Saturday. We stayed in pajamas until late morning. I didn’t even make it to my coffee until we’d all be up 2 hours. We played baseball in the house. I chased the kids in circles in the kitchen while Dustin and my wedding song played on repeat (because I’m cool like that). We had plans to go a bunch of places, and never left the house.
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Dustin got up early and ran 20 miles because he’s training for the Austin marathon. I write that detail too because I’m SO proud and impressed with him. And, seeing Grace hug him when he walked back in the door was really basically everything. It made my heart burst.
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Not all of our days are beautiful. Some are messy, and hard, and exhausting. But THIS Saturday, this was one for the books. I’m writing it all down and sharing it here because “these are the days that we’ll remember.” ✨

Motherhood, Working Moms

Getting stinky throw up smell out of a room.

by laurenwesley62802 Comments on Getting stinky throw up smell out of a room.

Hello! Welcome to my glamours blog! ;).

I had planned to focus on the “things that matter most” in this blog. Keeping us all focused on family, love, making the most of our one life. Being our best selves. Taking care of ourselves. Intentionally being present. All the things. For, those are the things that matter most.

But, sometimes, getting a super stinky smelly vomit smell out of a 22 month old’s bedroom matters quite a bit. So, here we are.

If you follow along on instagram, you know that baby G (I know, I know, she’s almost 2. She’s not a baby. But that is what I call her.) threw up earlier this week when I was out of town for work. I know you working mamas out there know the pain it is to be away and know your little one is sick. It was the worst.

But, I made it home last night, and thankfully she was feeling much better. Shout out to the best nanny on the planet for cuddling her all day, cleaning up the puke, getting Jack to school, and everything. REAL LIFE: Along with these clean crisp blog like photos are also a lot of people who help to make it happen. Husband who does a ton around the house and is the world’s best dad. And, a full time nanny who is here 5 days a week while Dustin and I work. Just wanted to be clear on that. #reallife

Anyway, the point of this post: Any time our kids puke, even after we clean it up, the smell tends to linger once it’s in the carpet. And, I really wanted to get it out of there. So, I turned to google (my BFF) to see what I could do. And, a few different articles and posts lead to this solution:

  • About 2 cups of hydrogen peroxide
  • 2 teaspoons of baking soda
  • a small squirt of dish soap

So, I mixed it all in a spray bottle and sprayed it in her room on all the places that there was throw up (before it was cleaned up). I blotted a bit with a towel, and left the room with the fan on for a few hours.

And, I must say, it worked!

Now, I do think that TIME helps as well. But, given how her room smells now, I’d definitely call this a win. I also read that putting a bowl or mug of plain white vinegar in a room works almost immediately to get the smell out of a room. I didn’t have white vinegar on hand, so I didn’t get to try it. But, if you do, I’d try that too!

That’s all. Hope this helps some parents out there. And, as for us around here, everyone is feeling much better. xoxo.

Best life, Motherhood

Take three slow breaths.

by laurenwesley62804 Comments on Take three slow breaths.
Take three slow breaths.

A wise leadership coach once told my team at work and me no matter what our day looked like, no matter how tired we were, how stressed we were, how hungry we were, or how annoyed we were with our day, to take THREE . SLOW . BREATHS . before walking in the door when we got home.

Since I work form home, for me it was actually three slow breaths before I walked OUT the door of my home office and into the rest of our home. When I learned about this practice, it was before we had kids. It was just Dustin, Coop (our dog) and me. I think it’s even more important once you have a family. But, the reason for doing it was the same then as it is now: to stop, transition from hectic day, and approach the people you love as the person you most want to be. Not as the tired version. Not as the stressed version. Not the hangry version of yourself. But, as the one your loved ones signed up to share their lives with. To show up as the best version of you.

So, I did it back then. Three slow breaths before I finished work and joined Dustin in out in the kitchen. I showed up with a smile. I showed up with energy. I consciously showed up without complaining about whatever stressed me out that day. I tried, when I remembered at least, to show up consciously as the best version of me.

Flash forward to present day, and this is more important than ever. For many of us, we’re parents now. And, when we walk in the door, it’s not just to our partner. But, it’s to our family. Our people. Our teeny tiny tribe. The ones who call us “Mom.” And, because of that, I’m doing it again: Three. Slow. Breaths. before I walk in the door. I had lost touch with this practice for a while. But, it’s back because I want to show up for them. It’s back because walking through that door with positive energy, will lead to positive vibes for everyone. At dinnertime. At bath time. At bedtime. It sets the tone for the whole routine. It sets the tone for the night.

And, the night may seem like just one night. But, when you really think about it, we live that night every night. And, those repeat nights become our life.

After all, life is not about big things. It’s not the birthday parties, or the vacations, or the long weekends at the lake. It’s not the days at the zoo, or Paw Patrol Live shows, or anything else big, cool, or monumental that we do together. The moments that make up our lives are the things we do repeatedly. The moments that happen over and over, day after day, night after night. These are the moments ARE our life. So, with that, I’m going to show up.

I’m not going to get it right every time. I’m not going to be perfect. But, I am going to try. Because as much as all the other stuff matters…. What matters the most is how I show up for my family. What matters are the moments with them. So, moving forward, night after night, I will take those three. slow. breaths. I will SHOW UP as my very best me.

So, before you head home from work, or your work out, or errands, from volunteering out of the house. Before you come home from whatever it is, try the three.slow. breaths. ❤ I hope it works for you, like it has for me before.

xoxo,

Lauren

And, P.S. Dustin does this so well too. Better than I do, and I admire him for it. Hence the pic on instagram sending you here for the read.

Motherhood

For the first time mamas.

by laurenwesley6280Leave a Comment on For the first time mamas.
For the first time mamas.


This is one of my favorite pictures, but I never shared it…. mainly because I’m wearing Costco Christmas pajamas in the middle of summer and my glasses are out of style. 🤣

But, I was with a group of girlfriends recently, and when I asked a new mom how life with a newborn was, she said it was good, but that “no one talks about that it’s hard.” And, she‘s right.

We all post our pretty pictures. Our smiling babies. Our letter boards. But not enough of us talk about the rest. So, here I am sharing a photo from the newborn stage, and saying IT IS HARD! This picture is one of my favorites, but it’s also of a time when I was exhausted.

And, while I love a beautiful Instagram feed as much as the next gal, here’s some real life stuff to go along with my real life picture: Nursing was really hard for me with Jack. And, pumping was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Sleepless nights made me crabby, and my hormones were out of whack. I think I had postpartum depression after my first baby, but didn’t know it at the time. And, while it almost seems like taboo to admit it, teeny tiny babies were hard on our marriage. Why does no one talk about that? It was a time when I was covered in spit up, and blowout diapers, and spilled milk that I would – for real – cry over. A time when I’d be awake at 3am searching google when the rest of the world seemingly was asleep. And, it was a time when I sometimes felt isolated… even though I now know there was a tribe of other moms out there, going through the same things.

I share this today to say to other mamas out there, you are not alone. ❤️ There is so much joy in motherhood. So much love. So much good. We all share that on Instagram all the time. But also know, in the middle of the night, when you’re holding that baby, exhausted, you are not alone. There are other mamas out there doing that exact same thing, even if their Instagram feed only shows that smiling picture in the morning. ❤️👊🏻 And, for the record, you’re doing AWESOME, mama. People don’t say that enough. 

Motherhood, Working Moms

Working Moms: We can have it all…just not at the same time.

by laurenwesley6280Leave a Comment on Working Moms: We can have it all…just not at the same time.
Working Moms: We can have it all…just not at the same time.

Working moms: We can have it all. Just not at the same time. (Pictured here: me doing my hair before a big meeting, but also being a mom).
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I once heard Julie Rice (co-founder of Soul Cycle) answer the question of “How do you do it all?” with something along the lines of “I don’t.” To paraphrase, she said that some weeks she was a badass at work. Some weeks she took her foot off the pedal at work and spent more time with her kids because they needed her.

I also recently heard that of the following 5 things, we can only do 3 exceptionally at a time: Family, work, friendships, working out, and getting enough sleep. And that’s ok. For most of us, I think we try to keep family in the top 3 all the time. But, realistically, our top 3 will shift from day to day and week to week.

Some weeks we’ll be ballers at work and working out, but won’t see our friends at all. Other weeks we may date our spouse and see our friends, but not be as strong at work. It’s ok for it to ebb and flow. It’s ok to be balanced and lopsided all at the same time.

Life is all about expectations. And I think the media (and social media) give us the expectation that we should be able do all of these things exceptionally all the time. And, that’s BS. No one has it all together all the time. We can thrive at all of them. Just not at the same time. And once you accept that truth, you can get rid of the expectations to have it all, and instead enjoy ALL that you have.