Ready

Rain drops on my sunroof. Four years ago today.
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Dustin just reminded me this was Jack’s due date. 4 years ago today, I sat outside of Whole Foods (was going in for lunch) watching the rain drops. Waiting. Waiting to become a mother. And, if I’m honest about it, I remember being nervous. Unsure. I remember feeling “not ready.”
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Don’t get me wrong, we had all the things. The stroller and the car seat and the crib, and a million little onesies.
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But, inside. I was excited…But, I wasn’t sure I was ready. Was I fit to be a mom? Was I ready to be a mom?
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But, that’s the thing about life, isn’t it? We’re never really ready.
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My gosh, maybe I wasn’t “ready.” But, there was no going back. I had to dive in. And, I did. 5 days later our beautiful baby boy joined us here earth side. And, life as we know it has never been the same. THIS LIFE, this beautiful life. Motherhood. Allll of myself as I know it. I wasn’t ready, but it was meant to be. I wasn’t ready, but it turns out, it was what I’d been waiting for my whole life.
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This unknown, not ready for it, scary-on-the-other-side life change was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I used to not understand when people said that. “The best thing that ever happened to me.” But, I get it now.
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My point? We’re never really ready. Sometimes we just have to dive in. Right now, a lot of us are in unchartered waters. Life as we know it is looking different now, and it’s going to look different in the future. For some of us our jobs have changed (or evaporated), our schools have changed, our social interactions have changed. Our days have changed. And, our new normal that we’re about to walk into is going to look a lot different than our life before – we’re just sitting here looking up at the raindrops on the sunroof right now. Waiting.
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But, if there’s anything I’ve learned in life it’s this: We’ve got to jump in. And, the optimist in me can only hope that what’s on the other side for us coming up…. Eventually, is going to be even more beautiful than life as we knew it before.
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“There are far far better things ahead than any that we leave behind.” – C.S. Lewis